Wednesday, July 31, 2019

The Simple Art of Blackmail*


Lips glacé cherry-red. Raisin-dark hair swept back. Skin pale as blanched almonds. A slight whiff of brandy. She reminded Kent of …

“Fruit cake?” Sylvia Preen asked.

Taking the smallest slice from the proffered plate, he tried to balance the cake on the edge of his saucer. Milky tea from the cup slopped onto it. Abandoning the challenge, he placed the lot on a delicate table beside his chair.

Over Sylvia’s shoulder, a Catalina flying boat with RAAF roundels slipped away from its moorings and began picking up speed across Freshwater Bay.

In those distracted seconds, she’d morphed from delectable Peppermint Grove baked goods to avian predator. Her head was tilted to one side, eyes fixed on him. A seagull sizing up a discarded chip.

“I’m surprised a fit man like yourself isn’t in the Services.”

“Invalided out,” Kent lied.

She appeared unconvinced. “I read in The West this morning that we’ve retaken Kokoda from the Japs.”

“Then I’m definitely no longer needed.” Leaning forward, he held out a soft pack of cigarettes. They lit from their own lighters. “And I read Mr Preen has had an unfortunate accident.”

“If your idea of an accident is someone being stabbed in the back while wearing silk pyjamas at dawn on our private jetty, then yes.”

“You want me to find his killer?”

“Heavens, no, Mr Kent. The police asked me if my husband had any enemies. I handed them the Perth telephone directory.” She ashed her cigarette. “But I’m giving the matter more thought. Meanwhile, you’ve a reputation for being discrete – a private, private detective. I want you to find a very compromising sketch of me. I’m being blackmailed.”


Fifteen minutes later, Kent stood in the shade of a peppermint tree, the river foreshore a few feet away. A seagull, balanced on one leg, studied his polished shoe caps. Behind him, the Preen mansion almost blocked out the western sky. In front, dinghies bobbed at peace. He didn’t want to leave.

The car’s steering wheel was hot to the touch. Windows down, the beginnings of a sea breeze drying the perspiration on his shirt and suit jacket, he headed for Fremantle. His was one of the few civilian vehicles making their way into the port. The roads were crowded with Allied trucks, the footpaths with gob caps, duck caps, officers’ peaked caps. As he slowed at a busy corner, a pair of US Shore Patrol masters-at-arms, watching for Unauthorised Absence bluejackets, peered into the back seat of his car. In return, Kent considered asking them for American cigarettes.

Polari’s rented room was above an Italian restaurant. A knock on the room door went unanswered. Kent checked off a list of other places Sylvia suggested.

Searches of the first two pubs proved fruitless. Leaving the third, he saw the white singlet, the distinctive star tattoo on the muscular shoulder and the newsboy-style cap moments before their owner turned into a laneway.

“Polari!” Kent shouted.

The man could run, Kent gave him that. Left at the first cross street, right at the next. Twice, three times Polari thumped into the backs of ambling sailors. Obscenities followed the pair as they sprinted towards the wharves. High chain-link fences stretched west and east. Polari stopped, turned, pulled a switchblade from his back pocket and flicked it open. Kent bent forward, fought to catch his breath, straightened and tugged a service revolver from his jacket. “Bang, bang.”


Polari’s room seemed crowded even with just the two of them. A cast iron bed, a woollen crocheted blanket, a quilted cover. By the window, a large format book of sketching paper stood on an easel. The effect: austere but homely. Except for the artwork on the walls.

Kent gestured for Polari to sit on the bed. “You’ve a way with …”

“The ladies?” Polari cut in.

“Erotic illustrations. Are these the originals?”

“Of course, the world’s navies are in town. Those boys only want copies. This is a sweet little business.”

Gun still pointed at Polari’s chest, Kent leant across and tore a sketch from the wall. Sylvia Preen had at least had the decency to wear suspenders. She looked younger.

Polari protested as Kent folded the paper and tucked it into a pocket. Ignoring him, Kent pulled open the top drawer of a wooden dresser. A crisp British merchant seaman’s identity card was tucked under three singlets. More protests. Kent held up a hand. “Fake ID? Jumped ship? Purveying pornography? Oh, wait, I forgot blackmail.”

“The last one’s not as lucrative as you’d imagine.” Polari straightened up. “Do I get my knife back?”

“I’ll think about it.”


The maid said no. No Mrs Preen wasn't at home and no he couldn't wait until she returned. Lips drawn back to approximate a smile, he turned away. The breeze from the slamming door cooled his back. To the right across the bay, the impressive bulk of a yacht club sat on a low hill. Along the foreshore beneath the club, short jetties poked into the Swan River. A figure in white stood out from their bleached, grey wood.

As he approached, he could see the familiar tilt of Sylvia Preen’s head.

"Is this the jetty where your husband was murdered?"

"Are you making conversation or would you genuinely like to know?"

"Both."

She pointed to a dark stain on the wooden planks. A pause. “And the sketch?”

He drew the folded artwork from an inside pocket. “To be fair, it’s quite a good likeness.”

Her hand shot out, snatching the paper away. One quick glance to confirm it was the original then the tearing began. Within seconds, a flutter of pornographic confetti floated down to the water. A cluster of blowfish nuzzled the wet paper before losing interest.

Side-by-side they watched the paper drift amongst the pylons. Touching his arm, she asked: “What are you thinking?”

Kent didn’t react. He was thinking the now very rich merry widow had lured her unpleasant husband down to the jetty, killed him and was about to put the knife-happy Polari in the frame for the murder. But first she’d needed that sketch off the artist’s wall. Even a Fremantle copper would’ve recognised her – with or without underwear. If this was a just world I’d immediately turn her over to the police, Kent reflected.

But there was something more important than instant justice. His invoice. “I was thinking we should celebrate with a drink and with you paying my bill.”

“Cash or cheque, Mr Kent?”

“In this case, cash.”

# # #


* I’m extremely remorseful for the countless copyright infringements in this story

 Copyright 2019 GREG FLYNN


Monday, July 8, 2019

Folly & Sin


The vaporetto bumped twice against the Palazzo Pisani Moretta’s jetty before being hit by the wash of bigger, smarter vessels all competing for a berth. The night air felt as damp and cold as Inspector Boscolo’s knickers. Next time he’d stand throughout an open boat ride. He needed fresh underwear, a cheroot, a grappa and a pee.

Another wave smacked against the port side, knocking Boscolo into the arms of First Sergeant Fabbri. Catching the inspector’s elbow, she helped him up the short gangplank. On the crowded jetty in their ornate masquerade ball costumes, they looked as they felt: extras in an extravagant production to distract people with golden lives. If he had their money, Boscolo decided, he’d be at home with Tuscan tobacco, a full glass and an empty bladder. And wearing men’s underwear.

“Everyone is here.” Fabbri said. “At least try and look fabulous.” Spinning, her gold and black costume caught reflections off the Grand Canal.

Clumsily, Boscolo began rotating, his own ornate skirt almost scraping the wooden jetty boards. “How can you tell who’s famous? They’re all masked.”

Titling her head towards the palazzo’s steps, she indicated the paparazzi pack baying at new arrivals. The shouts gave an ultimatum – lift your masks or we won’t shoot. The Clooneys obeyed. Pitt and partner followed, masks tilted upwards. Paltrow too. They hadn’t flown 9,868 kms to be passed over in a red carpet photo op.

Stepping forward, Boscolo found himself briefly minus a shoe. Porca vacca! One of his high heels had caught between the boards. It’d been Fabbri’s idea for them to frock up for the event. He’d complained about the indignity of a senior Carabinieri investigator being in drag. Fabbri pointed out, again, that their suspect like most Italian males would assume a woman wasn’t a threat unlike a costumed man in a codpiece and a cocked hat. The target? Venice’s most audacious jewel thief: Il Gatto Nero.

“And the photographers? What’ll they make of an unmasked, middle-aged, stubble-cheeked man in a dress?”

“This is showbiz. There’re no surprises. But when we pass them, keep your mask on, take my hand, stare into my eyes and pretend you’re my girlfriend.”

For a moment, a very collegial thought crossed Boscolo’s mind but this was neither the night nor possibly the decade to pursue it.

Inside the 15th Century palace, with the temperature struggling to rise one more degree, Il Ballo del Doge was swinging coolly. Trays of drinks circulated, as did the bejewelled guests. The event’s theme was Folly & Sin. There were air kisses and knowing touches. A tall man in a silver, apparently sprayed-on catsuit approached Boscolo and rested a hand on the inspector’s shoulder. “Such fun,” said the stranger. “Aren’t you loving it?”

“It’s my first masquerade ball,” Boscolo replied, failing to disguise his voice. “I’m determined not to enjoy it.”

In surprise, the man took a step back, then one forward. “Now this just got interesting.

Reaching out, Fabbri tugged at Boscolo’s sleeve. “Time to eat, bello.”

As the two police approached, platters of bigołi in salsa and fegato ała venesiana were being ferried to long communal dining tables. Boscolo was tempted, but nature was not so much calling as shrieking.

Fabbri led the way into the female toilets, suggesting he gather up his skirts and back into a cubicle. “I’ll make certain you’re not disturbed.”

This is the apex for what passes as a career, thought Boscolo as he felt blessed relief. A moment later, a small explosion and all went black.

Screams, gunfire, more explosions, more screams. In the dark, he clawed at the door lock. It was just that. Locked. He felt for the toilet lid, slammed it shut and clambered towards the old fashioned overhead cistern. With a push, he was up and over into the next cubicle, landing with a thump on the woman inside. “This is as undignified for you as for me,” he said, twisting the door lock open.

In the blacked-out ballroom, the screaming continued. Pulling off his mask, he slapped his sides. Somewhere inside the folds of his costume was his Beretta. “Light some candles, idioti!” he ordered.

Around the room, lighters flickered and a serene golden glow slowly lit up a less than serene scene. He found his gun. More screams. “Armed police!” he shouted. Even to him, it sounded unconvincing.

“My jewels!” wailed a woman to his right. “Your jewels? What about mine?” cried another to his left.

Struggling to flash his polizia ID and instead exposing his upper thigh, Boscolo blocked the path of a panicky security man. Details were sketchy. There’d been a series of explosions knocking out the electricity supply. A gun had been fired. Someone had moved swiftly through the ballroom, tearing necklaces and earrings from their owners.

Il Gatto Nero. Boscolo knew it. And Fabbri? Where’d she gone? The exits were jammed with squealing guests and staff. Boscolo pushed his way to the main stage and exited, left.

Immediately, he tripped, catching an edge of curtain to break his fall. Fabbri was lying on her back across the passageway. Her mask was torn off. Blood smeared her forehead. That way, she pointed, that way.

Boscolo staggered upright. Kicking off his shoes, he took two long strides before falling over the hem of his dress. This time he crashed onto a giant papier-mâché stage prop – a pirate’s treasure box. The lid and sides crumbled. Inside was a large black silk bag, its contents slipping out: one set of night goggles, multiple diamond necklaces, a cluster of pearl earrings … and then a metallic click.

Fabbri was standing above him, her gun pointed at his head. “I’ll take those,” she said.

“Would you mind also taking this damn outfit?” he asked. “It’s served its purpose.”

“You’ll have to admit, Commissario, it was all terribly clever. Who’d guess a mere woman – and a copper – was the thief?”

“Will you be leaving a forwarding address? It’d save me a lot of bother later.”

Reaching down, she began scooping up the jewels. Stretching across, he grabbed her ankle and pulled hard. She came down on top of him. Rolling, they crashed into the backstage bric-à-brac, her gun disappearing beneath a stack of hat boxes.

From the stage wings, a smooth voice called out. Boscolo twisted his head to see.

Silhouetted against the light, the man in the silver catsuit was standing with his hands on both hips. “This is my kinda party. Mind if I join in?’

Fabbri shook herself free. “Francamente, I’d rather surrender.”

# # #

 Copyright 2019 GREG FLYNN