Xxott wasn’t certain whether the Commander was indulging in a comforting gesture or making a pass at him. It’d been a long, lonely trip from their home planet but Xxott wasn’t that type of Zlpqltrion. Turning, he caught sight of his bare backside beneath a truncated tail. “I hardly look like the most advanced species on Earth.”
“Our research is impeccable. You’re wearing the height of Middle Palaeolithic simian chic. It’s a perfect disguise.”
Xxott appeared unconvinced.
The Commander played the Saviour Card. “You’re the hope of the human race. Without you, humanity is doomed.”
Xxott’s tail hung down, swinging miserably. “Why should we care?”
With a flip of his tentacle, the Commander gestured for Xxott to come to the spacecraft’s window. Far below lay a blue planet, clouds sweeping over the oceans. Thanks to a cloaking device, the craft was invisible to Earthlings except for the flashing, vivid green logo of the device’s manufacturer “F.U.” – a technical hiccup the manufacturer claimed would be ironed out in the upgraded version.
“How accurate is our time transporter?” asked Xxott.
Peering at Earth, Xxott didn’t like the look of all that water. “Can you guarantee I’ll materialise on dry land?”
“Of course. What could possibly go wrong?’
Switching on his Tele-wrist-or (Patent Pending), Xxott reported to the Commander. “So far, so predictable.”
“In that case,” she said, “the answer’s ‘no’.”